We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
In the future we'll all be gay
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My vagina just recognized that song.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
