We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
