was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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