all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
