so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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