The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
