Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
