This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
