I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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