And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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