I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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