Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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