you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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