I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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