Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
