Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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