SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Shame - the story of my life.
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