..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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