love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I wish you could order shots online.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
