i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
