he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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