I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
