I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
