There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
