Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
