I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
