We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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