Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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