I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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