Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
