my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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