im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
