k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
