There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He did a backflip because drugs
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