just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
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