Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
