What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
