you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
NoShamevember. You game?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
