I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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