I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
