it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Randomize
