if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
