thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
