i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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