It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Randomize
