maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
