And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
