win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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