Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
