my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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